So, it seems like forever since I've blogged! It's been forever since I've even checked this thing! I had so much catching up to do with reading up on everyone else but it was great and I feel motivated to try being more consistant in blogging. I think part of me felt like this was mostly for pictures and stories on Gracie, but I've seen and was reminded by other friends' blogs that I CAN write about me on here too. Lol :)
To be honest, I've had a little bit of the stay-at-home mommy blues lately. I don't know why it's just now hitting and, really, it could be from a million different things going on right now (switching birth control, job hunting, parents moving, it being too hot to do anything outside!!!, etc.) Thyroid problems run in my family so I even went in to get that checked out. Nope, everything is normal. Except it's not. I can be emotional sometimes but this has been ridiculous. Don't worry, I don't think I'm a danger to myself or anyone around me... unless crying has damaging effects on men... then Brock may be in danger! It seems to be that's all I've been able to do lately is cry. Even I'm tired of crying! After finding out that my bloodwork is normal, I've done a lot of self-reflection and talking to my mom and a friend or two (you guys are the best!!!). I think a lot of this is "identity" problems. I feel like I've lost a little bit of myself which is weird to me because I've waited my whole life to be a stay-at-home wife & mom. However, I think going from working in a job I loved (this is who I am, this is what I do) to staying home all day, every day, cleaning the same things over again, and having limited outings and/or time for myself has taken a toll. I got a lot of self satisfaction from my job. I also had time for exercise and my bible studies. At first I thought this was a social problem, not getting to be with friends enough or something, but now I think I realize this is a "me" problem. I'm not prioritizing my day or time to where I do things that make me feel good about myself, exercise and bible studies being the main ones.
So, this all being fresh in my mind, Gracie and I went to Half Price Books to try to find a book on photography for my mom's birthday. I ended up remembering my mom isn't big on reading so I went back to the Christian section to see if they happened to have Love & Logic. Of course I didn't remember who it was by so I went through the whole section reading every time in the Christian Parenting shelf while trying to keep a kicking and very wiggly Gracie from getting down to run away. I ended up running across a book called "Keeping the ME in Mommy". It's written by Lisa Whelchel (the girl who played Blair in The Facts of Life). I bought it and started reading it on our trip this weekend and am really enjoying it. She writes the book in three sections: taking care of your body, soul, and spirit. At the end of each chapter, she gives ideas on how to apply the things mentioned in that chapter. It's a super easy read and the first section is on your spirit. In the first chapter of that section, she talks about how she needed to maintain her relationship with God but finding the time was hard and felt overwhelming at times. One of the ideas she gave was that she started using daily tasks as triggers to remind her to pray about specific things. Example: cooking dinner = praying that God's word would nourish her and her family, spot cleaning laundry = asking God to remove stains of sin and guilt, folding clothes = praying that God would clothe her family in righteousness. She also did this with scripture memorization. Of course, she recommends this as a way to "pray without ceasing" and keeping His word at the forefront of her mind... not as a substitute for studying or sitting down to talk with God. I'm really liking a lot of her ideas and wanted to pass them on in case anyone else may be interested in finding more time for YOU.
Thank you again for those of you I've talked to and for making me feel normal! :) I hope if anyone else out there feels this way that they don't feel alone in this. I felt so ridiculous for being so emotional when we are incredibly blessed and have every reason to be joyful. But the transition to being a mom is hard sometimes. It's natural to want to do everything we can for our families and we let ourselves slide down the list of priorities. I've learned that I've got to take time for myself to care for myself because, we all know, when mama's happy, everyone's happy. :)